New Years Dissolutions.

Now that the drunken parties are well over with and the hangovers are reminding us that we are only human, it is time to start with our new years resolution or dissolutions. I will loose weight, I will diet and exercise, blah, blah, blah. Yeah we have heard them over and over again. Lets actually do something that we will stick with. Lets start with showing up for work…on time, pay our taxes, go to bed at night. Yes these are the easy ones and surprisingly they are attainable goals. But lets say you want to impress your friend(s) with lofty goals but you do not want to fall flat on your face in humiliation. Take loosing weight for instance; you could do a weigh in during the winter months and a final weight during the summer months. In the winter you will wear your “winter” clothes to weight more, and in the summer do the final weight in shorts and a t-shirt. Now the diet and exercise part, this will take a little showmanship on your part. Buy some of those South Beach diet boxes or what ever you would care to be seen with and strategically place them around your house. When your friend(s) come over make sure they see you with some of these in your hands some of the time. Do not make a big deal or even mention it to them, what you have done is planted the image in their mind of you with the diet food. The exercise part will be a little more demanding but well worth the payoff. Like the diet food boxes you can place weights in the house make sure to dust them to make them appear they are being used. Also you may want to wear some sweats and actually do a little exercise to work up a sweat, keeping up appearances is what most resolutions are about. You know a little window dressing on yourself will give the appearance that you are actually doing something to improve your life. This occurs with minimal effort and will get those perky cheerleader types of your back so you can focus on what you want to do…fishing, hunting, watching the tube, you know, the important things in life. Just my way of defending against humanities endless parade of “my way of life is better than yours” no fun having cheerleaders. Besides we are all going to die of one thing or another, right, so have some fun.